Me: I just watched a show about how successful (i.e. college educated) black women are not getting married.
Him: Why is that a show? What's the problem? A black woman is better off by herself than with a black man that will bring her down. There's no point in getting married unless it's about mutual love and respect.
Me: Well a lot of the black men on the show said that the reason black women are single is because they expect too much.
Him: Psh. Black women do not expect too much! What is a black woman supposed to do? She is educated. She has her life in order. And she is supposed to get with any old man because he didn't get his life together but still feels he is entitled to any woman he wants?
Me: Well they said that you have to look at a man's potential.
Him: That's what they want you to think so that you don't require anything in actuality from them. You look at who a man is. Not who he says he will be.
Me: The show also talked about why a lot of men cheat. They said it's because women were not keeping them happy or not sexually doing what they want.
Him: That's ridiculous. There's no reason for anybody to cheat. If a man is grounded then he will love his partner enough not to cheat.
Me: They also said that you need to make a man feel like a man.
Him: If I am a man then why would I need a woman to make me feel like a man?
Me: I don't know.
Him: A real man does not need a woman to make him feel like a man. He is a man, isn't he? Men who say that have an inferiority complex.
Me: Well they were saying that they need to feel like they wear the pants in the relationship.
Him: Look. A man does not feel threatened by anyone unless he does not have his own life together. And in that case he will be threatened whether a woman lays down and lets him walk all over him or if she makes more money or anything else.
Nobody can teach me who I am. You can describe parts of me, but who I am - and what I need - is something I have to find out myself.
-Chinua Achebe (via nyu-tah)
When a woman is loved correctly she becomes ten times the woman she was before.
-Reyna Biddy (via breanna-lynn)
The human body essentially recreates itself every six months. Nearly every cell of hair and skin and bone dies and another is directed to its former place. You are not who you were last November.
-Donald Miller (via feellng)
The thing holding back your walk is almost always a lie that you’re believing. The enemy’s lies make no logical sense. They fall apart the moment you put light on them. That makes them easy to defeat, once you know what they are. So dig deep to root out those lies.
Unka Glen Fitzjerrell on episode 135 of Say That
Get it Free on iTunes or our Website
The last time a stranger decided to put their hands on me was about two weeks ago now at the bus stop. He asked how I was doing and I replied that my back hurt, so he tried to rub my shoulders and I asked him to stop. He did, and then he commented on my big old butt. And I’m sure if you were to ask him, he’d say he’d done nothing wrong- crossed no boundaries, not violated anyone’s consent. Why, after all, should he inquire as to whether he can or cannot put his hands on me? That’s like asking a sofa before you sit down.
-Guest Post: On the costs of talking about consent - Consent Culture (via gotochelm)
You don’t have to be pretty like her. You can be pretty like you.
-One of the most freeing things I have ever heard (via fearlessknightsandfairytales)